If I could chose one word to describe my life, sometimes that would be it. And not necessarily in a bad way. It’s just that sometimes I feel like I’ve had too many start-overs in my life: moving, starting anew, switching jobs, changing friends, trying on new identities, different towns. Some changes have been peaceful, but many have felt too sudden, too abrupt.
I find that I have a hard time identifying myself with the me’s of my past, and I don’t want it to be that way. Perhaps a big part of that currently has more to do with the fact that we’ve been “temporarily” living in our house now for over a year. Nearly all of the little things that I keep around to remind me of my life so far are packed away in so many random closets that I wouldn’t even know know to start looking for them.
Yesterday was spent at my sister Glory’s beautiful little home. We each took turns watching all four of our sweet little boys while the other went running. I used my turn to sift through her many photo albums: all glimpses of my life and hers from a slightly different angle. A twin’s perspective on a twin. There were a ton of pictures from my teen years, from my early twenties, pictures that I honestly forgot even existed. Old friends, road trips, strange hair colors, camping, hiking… Is my memory really that bad? Uh, yes, yes it is.
Anyway, it’s got me to thinking about how much I really need to start putting my boxes and boxes of memories into albums so I don’t keep finding myself forgetful of my brief yet amazing history. And, it’s got me facing today with a new resolve to remember to keep taking my camera out every day. It’s those simple snapshots of home life which seem so commonplace now that become treasures to me in a decade.
Pat and I spent the morning digging through our terribly unorganized closets and file boxes, finding old photos and enjoying the trip down memory lane, finding our marriage certificate that’s been lost for a long time, and being appalled at how scattered our important papers are.
For now, until my day today life is less hectic, until there are fewer curious little fingers running away squealing in mischievousness with my passport, I’ll be content knowing that everything is getting safely tucked away and organized . A day will come when I’m ready to put down roots in a home again, and then it’ll be like Christmas, getting to sift through everything again.
Now, if I could just find Titus’ birth certificate. We are in the early stages of trying to plan a trip here:
Filed under: Life
My oh my, will this sickness never end? Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally counting my blessings. There are about one million worse things to be dealing with than two sick boys with conjuctivitis. But today was filled with more glorious sunshine pouring in through the front window and I just wanted to get us out, somewhere. Instead, I kept the front and back doors open, just like in the summer time, and let the fresh air do it’s thing. And–despite loads of sour milk vomit, yellow eye boogers, and emotional meltdowns of the very young–we managed to have a nearly peaceful stay at home day.
How have I been living in the dark for so long? Once the doors were open the house felt well lit for the first time since summer, and I began to notice that dreaded, slimey, dusty wall film that coats everything once you’ve lived in a house for a year. It creeps up on you so slowly–a little coffee spilled down the cabinets here, a few pans of bacon cooked without a kitchen vent, a million sticky finger prints–and then once you start to try to clean it, you start to notice it everywhere and can’t hardly imagine that you’ve been living in such nasty squalor.
The sunshine worked it’s magic and I felt sufficiently grossed out (and motivated) to tackle every single surface in my kitchen. And all my downstairs floors. And all the laundry. So, it was good that we were stuck at home. I’d say more about it, but sick child #2 is waking. Hopefully this time not in a puddle of sour milk.
Filed under: Crafts
Here is my soft pile of laundered, felted, disassembled wool sweaters, fresh from my latest scrounging trip to Goodwill. I spent the day sorting, pinning, cutting, and doing some nicely relaxing prep work while the boys, worn out from their sickness, took a wonderfully long afternoon nap.
Soon, they will all be sewn into my latest batch of recycled wool toys, ready for a spring craft fair here in Tacoma. I’m excited to be doing some work with an end goal in mind! I really do need these kinds of deadlines in my life to keep me focused when so many things are demanding my attention.
And, speaking of spring, I am feeling ready like never before for warmth and growth and child friendly weather. Today we had a lovely dose of things to come, complete with a bug hunt under the rocks in the backyard.
Filed under: Life
And now Theo has pinkeye. Yay. But, today is sunny, beautiful, and I am going to make some stuffed animals, despite the whining.
Filed under: Life
…is yucky. And Titus has it. That is all for today.
Filed under: Life
I almost forgot. After spending the past six post-partum months with only one, single, solitary, stretchy waist-banded pair of maternity jeans, I bought some new jeans yesterday. I’ve had the hardest time bringing myself to do this as I kept telling myself that I didn’t want to spend money on a pair of pants I’m going to be too skinny to wear after just a few months, but the truth is, I have been the same weight for three months now. Yes, I’m running a lot these days. Yes, I’m being careful with what I eat and nursing a great deal. The fact is, the weight from this second pregnancy is so stubborn, and maybe age is catching up with me already (!) and my metabolism has changed or something. I will get in shape again, I’m committed to that. But it might be a while.
But, I couldn’t just keep feeling like a slob in those old jeans. They have literally been my only pair of pants. I didn’t even have a back-up pair for those times (like yesterday) when Theo throws up on them just as I’m heading out the door. So, after some scary moments spent in the dressing room, alone with my reflection, I emerged with a real pair of pants. Pants that have a functioning zipper. And a button that isn’t just there for decoration.
I feel good. I know I’m doing everything (just about) that I should be doing to get healthy again, and my kids are by far worth the cost my body has paid. My ego has suffered more than anything else, but that’s just fine. I saw these pants at Macy’s yesterday and my jaw dropped:
Don’t quite your day job, Beyonce.
Look at me! I’m making some serious headway in my posting today.
We spent another nice night at home with my guys this week filling those final minutes before bedtime with what seems to be quickly becoming a family ritual: father-son chocolate chip cookie baking. Titus got a monogrammed apron from his grandma this past Christmas and it is such a fitting thing for him as he and Pat spend so many happy moments in the kitchen together. I love watching our family grow and begin to adopt it’s own identities, it’s own traditions. Titus was trying to show Pat the “right” way to smile for pictures here.
I’m going to put up tons of pictures of this because I just loved how they all turned out. Yellow, warm, full of character and hilarious expressions that capture these guys well.
Too bad Pat is giving up sweets for Lent this year and I am not really eating too many sweets myself these days. We only ended up baking 2 cookies for Titus and now have a freezer full of frozen cookie dough balls, awaiting the end of Lent and for my rear end to get skinny.
Filed under: Crafts
Well, I’ve taken a break from making stuff lately, mostly due to a lack of deadlines, I guess. Perhaps I need more deadlines in my life. Sunday was a shower for a good friend and her sweet, tiny little boy, so I went off to the fabric store in search of some decent flannel and inspiration.
I liked these prints because they were interesting and had a vintage look, unlike the usual selection at Joanne’s which seems to consist of lots of pastels and prints that are just a little bit too cutesy.
I made her two large swaddling blankets and two smaller burp rag things. Why is it so hard to find decent swaddling blankets out there? I remember having such a hard time swaddling Titus when he was little until I discovered the miracle that was large, square flannel blankets and a special little trick that I like to call the “magic swaddle”. It basically resembles putting a baby in a straight jacket and works amazingly well to keep those scratching, flailing baby hands from waking up babies.
Sleep well little Fillipo!
Filed under: Life
Six months. I still pinch myself at how easy this is being, having this baby. Being his mom. Sleeping.
Filed under: Life
At least, I think they’re funny. Thanks to Pop-pop and Nanna for sending them cards!
I think this might have been the very first year that Pat and I have bothered to really celebrate Valentine’s Day. It’s one of those things that isn’t really on the holiday radar (like Christmas, which starts bleeping at about 8 months out) until one day you’re driving down the road and a little shack overflowing with spray painted daisies and teddy bears reminds you that, yes, it is here, and you’d better think of something romantic. Fast. I love that it’s the only time of the year that we as a society accept pink and red as matching each other, when in reality, they look terrible.
This year, Pat and I each remembered the holiday the day before and managed to slip away to the store separately to pick up a few little things that actually brightened each other’s days and spoke of tenderness and thoughtfulness, not just pink and redness.
I woke up to a gourmet breakfast in bed, complete with a cappuccino and a mimosa. A pile of Theo’s Chocolates (the brand, not our child). Nice. I gave him some cool cocktail glasses and a bottle of wine. It’s nice when holidays are defined by our joy in celebrating them, not just by our stress in the attempt to meet expectations.
