Filed under: Music | Tags: Damien Jurado, Tacoma, Tacoma Round, Zachary Marvick
Seriously, this is going to be so, so cool. I just need to find a babysitter!
Accomplishment is eluding me. Counting my blessings is my new mantra. I feel like a big baby being frustrated at things that are so temporary (kids with colds, having no energy, no time, projects that aren’t turning out, struggling to find balance) when I know that I truly have everything to be thankful for. So, I attempt to remind myself of that truth every day.
Titus is nearing three years old and I still find myself with unrealistic expectations for what I can fit into my day as a mother. Instead of remaining in that necessary flexible state, seizing the easy moments as they come and being grateful to have done what I can in them, I give myself goals I know I can’t even begin to accomplish with two little kids who seem to be in constant need of my help. Inevitably, this leads to feeling resentful of them in those moments. You’d think I’d be good at sitting by and watching things that I just can’t quite get to pile up, but I have a hard time letting go of my control, my organized attempts.
- If only they would leave me alone
- If only Theo was old enough to play with his brother
- If only Titus didn’t dislike Theo so much
- If only my husband would _____
- If only this house wasn’t so_____
All untrue. I think that until I learn to keep correcting my soul, keep confronting my attitude head on, and recognize the fallacies behind my thoughts, I’ll go through my days with the vague impression that my life is hard. That I’m some kind of over worked, under-appreciated mommy victim. That the life I have isn’t the one I wanted.
Really, I have to see it from another perspective: my kids are gifts, our health is a gift, my husband is a gift, my days are full of moments too sweet to capture. Like today. Outside: a freaky snow storm. More snow than we’ve had all winter here. I got to teach Titus that God is making that snow for us. I really did get to do some sewing on my projects. The secret one is nearly finished, the stuffed animals are coming along (with a few minor disasters).
Last night Titus prayed for our dinner: “Thanks you Jesus for the cake (cornbread), the other cake, too. Two cakes. Thanks for beer. Thanks for my juice. Aaaaaamen!”
I’m thankful, I’m thankful, I’m thankful….
Edited to add: Nap Time Poop Finger Painting Extravaganza #6 was today. That’s two beds Titus has pretty much destroyed beyond use. He’s going to be sleeping on the floor for a long, long time.
Filed under: Life
Titus has been sitting in the tub for nearly 2 hours, eating the strawberries and grapes I toss in there and letting me know when he needs more hot water….some days are just lazy, sleep deprived blurs, spent in our pajamas with lots of nose wiping. I kind of like taking a day off, but, to be honest, I find it way more satisfying to have a productive day in the sunshine getting caught up on house work than festering around watching things pile up. Today is not going to be one of those days, and that’s ok.
Overheard from the tub:
“Joom, joom, joom, I not sad anymore, I happy!”
“Neverending story….ahhhhhhhhh”
“I eating the grapes, but not the sticks”
“I’m swimming, like a diver!”
“I’m not poopin in the bath!”
“Sticky!”
“Ine all done”
I love it when he says “Ine”
Filed under: Family
Our weekend in Portland was spent with an assortment of grandmothers and other relatives from Pat’s side of the family. I feel so grateful that my kids have so very many amazing grandmas, grandpas, and great grandmas. They are each treasures with so much to give and to share with us. Here we are with Pat’s mother and her mother, who’s house we stayed in.
And I love this picture here where I seem to be the calm center of a Sullivan storm. That’s Pat’s father and his father’s mother, plus her new husband. That was the first time in his entire life that he’s held a baby.
Here are the boys with their paternal great grandmother again. That was her first chance to meet Theo.
Theo is at a lovely stage of discovering and enjoying the people around him. I am so happy with how this little set with Pat’s mom turned out. It was hard to pick just 6 pictures out of all of them.
Camille (Pat’s step mother who, true to form, managed to avoid all my picture taking) had her surgery on Friday after we got back from our trip. I pray that the cancer didn’t spread, that she recovers fully, and that she is a part of my family for a long time.
Filed under: Family
******** And my boys are sick , yet again. I have a few interesting thoughts floating about in my head for some posts soon (and I never really have written that one I promised about our Portland trip, have I?), but right now I’m tired from being up all night and so they’ll have to wait********
******** Do you ever see someone you knew as a child ten or twenty years later, after “adulthood” has happened to them, and find that you can still only see them as children? It’s the weirdest thing I’ve been noticing. Despite facial hair, height, real jobs and children of their own, there are some people in my life that are perpetual children in my mind. Is that just the way parents see their own kids?********
********How random was that? Can you tell I did not sleep last night?********
********Sick kids means no Easter festivities for us, so I guess it’s just sort of like every other rainy day at home with the boys while Pat has the car at work, except that I feel more contemplative and thankful.********
Filed under: Life
A visit to Twist.
A walk through the Pearl District.
A late lunch at Bridgeport Brewery.
A trip to Posh Baby to see our dream bunk bed in real life.
Fun!
Filed under: Family
Yes, I could be in bed right now, but we’re fresh home from Portland (more about that later), happy, exhausted, and if I don’t start catching up with things now, I’ll be hopelessly behind. So, in the interest of keeping this little pseudo baby book up to date, here’s a shot from the other night when Theo joined us at dinner for the first time. Yes, it’s only a hunk of broccoli to suck on, but it’s still a milestone, right? I’m more interested in watching him have fun with new textures and shapes right now that I am in him actually getting anything substantial down his little gullet, so this was a fun little experiment. He surprised us yet again today after a peaceful 3 hour drive home by popping out his third tooth. Crazy kid, I keep expecting a fever and a week of screaming. Needless to say this happy kid has thrown my pessimist self for a loop.
I’ve been working on a few sewing projects whenever I can squeeze a simultaneous happy moment or two out of the boys. One of them is top-secret for now (got you curious?) and the other is that pile of stuffed animals for the little craft fair coming up soon. They’re turning out super cute and I get such a great feeling of happiness seeing them take fuzzy shape before me.
Titus totally loves cutting stuff up right now so I’m trying to keep his scissors in an intelligently out of reach place and help him concentrate his efforts onto sensible cutting. Organic shirt’s that mom found on sale and totally loves are a “no”. Old laundered wipes are a “yes”. All hair on all members of our family are a “no”. Unless I’m helping. He went down for his nap yesterday while I was still cutting up my little secret project and, to his utter wonderment, when he awoke it was nearly all assembled. Mom makes magic.
He got a much need hair cut today. I’ve been getting grossed out by his permanently crusty nose, his shaggy, greasy mop, and his blueberry stained face which I can’t seem to keep clean for more than a moment. I think it helped.
We’re off to Portland for four days on a last minute trip under slightly less than ideal circumstances: our Nana, Pat’s step mother, is having surgery next week. We love her so much and are praying for the best possible outcome. Pat’s whole family is full if these amazingly strong and beautiful women and I have a lot of learning to do. A lot to re-learn. I hope to have all them around for a long, long time to come.
The man and I went out on a long overdue date the other night. He had yet to see Juno, and so we headed over to our favorite little soup counter, Infinite Soups, grabbed our to-go containers, walked across the street to Corina Bakery for coffee, sweets, and a place to sit and enjoy our soup, then went around the corner to the Grand Cinema for the 6:55 showing (which we nearly missed thanks to too much chit-chatting with Julie at Corina’s and our total oblivion). It’s such a cool little couple of blocks over there on Fawcett and Tacoma Avenues…one of those rare packed neighborhoods with lots of room for spontaneity and adventure without the usual dark, scary “dead zones” that seem to still pepper downtown. We seized the chance for a rain free walk down Broadway afterwards and went for a long random meander with chamomile teas from Blackwater. I took this picture of the amazing cut paper art displayed in the old Woolworth’s windows. I don’t think I caught the feel of it quite right, but it was cold and I wasn’t in my full, stop-and-smell-the-roses mode. I’ve been feeling kind of blue lately for no good reason whatsoever. Seeing other peoples’ art–movies, music, paper, whatever–reminds me to own and acknowledge the voice inside of me and I don’t want to spend any more time belittling it. I think it’s going to be a wonderful spring.
Theo has taken the giant leap out of gummy babyhood: he now has two teeth! There is no looking back now. He’s moving onward and upward toward all those other first year milestones as his babyness slips away–rolling, trying to sit up, possibly eating solids sometime in the next few months (possibly not, this boy has some skin issues that I’m in no hurry to aggravate further), and becoming more and more aware of life and family around him.
Oddly, I had no idea his teeth were on their way until they were nearly popping out since he continued to be his normal happy self right up to the break though. And he slept 9 hours straight in his own bed last night.
