A Life of Grace


The Waters of March (and April) Are Frozen
April 21, 2008, 9:56 pm
Filed under: Family, Life

This is probably going to be a random and jam packed post since it’s been so long since my last real blog, but if I don’t get back on the wagon now, I might not ever get in the swing of blogging again.

~I’ve been thinking about that old “Waters of March” song lately. And contemplating the bizarre April snow we have these days.

~We’re mostly moved into our new house, but not very finished up at our old one. I love the setting up of life in a new space. And, I feel equally yucky about the clean up, sorting, and packing that is always required at the tail end of moving out.

~I’m trying not to feel the strain of a few looming deadlines: finishing a pile of stuffed animals for the craft fair on the 3rd, getting better at learning my piano parts for our little show at Kenny’s birthday on the 2nd, and being moved out by the 1st.

~I’m fighting the age old battle to attain balance in my life, but I may as well start including that into all my posts.

~We’re putting an offer in on a place this week, which is both wonderfully exciting and nauseatingly terrifying. Co-housing might just be the coolest, scariest, wackiest idea of all time.

All that is put in perspective by the somber news that my young nephew passed away yesterday. I’ve not written much about it through his nearly 2 year struggle with cancer because, due to a lot of reasons I’m not going to go into here, I haven’t felt like it’s been mine to tell. I don’t want be a voyeur to the pain of others, and I don’t want to cheapen it, either, by chit-chatting about something that isn’t hitting me as deeply or as hard as it is for other members of my family. I want to respect them by keeping it as their story.

Still, in the middle of it all, a twelve year old son is gone, and all the grief that can be imagined is there. I think my brother summed it up to me yesterday when he said that they are praising God and shaking their fists at the sky at the same time. I remember his words as we sat in the hospital with him, back at the beginning of all of this: “We don’t know why this is happening, but, if nothing else, I’m sitting here with my sister, talking. And that’s no small thing.” So, yesterday was a time of toasts, of sorrow, of apologies for long-hard hearts. Now is a time to look towards our future with hope, and with the tenderness, humility, and mercy that comes from a grief shared, and from a grief observed.

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2 Comments so far
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yeah, the weather sucks here too. We had to build plastic tents and cover all our veggies, cuz it frosted all weekend. didn’t want to lose everything we have worked so hard to germinate and plant. sorry about you nephew. that really sucks. i remember when my best friend in the cancer hospital in kiev died i was soo mad at God an was hurt, cuz i had so many plans for us to go do cool stuff. it was the only time i’ve heard God in a voice saying, “i have plans for her and places to show her too”

Comment by dawn

I’m so sorry to hear about your nephew. I will be thinking of your family.

Comment by travisandmarcy




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